Send the right kind of thank-you

Your colleague has gone out of her way to help you meet a deadline. Your manager has taken you to lunch for your birthday. One of your vendors has given you two tickets to a sporting event. It goes without saying that a “thank you” is in order. But what kind of “thank you”?
During my seminars, many people ask me whether a verbal expression of thanks suffices when another person goes out of his or her way for you. The answer is simple:
Any time someone exerts more than 15 minutes of energy to do something for you, a written or keyed thank you is definitely in order.

The next question I hear is usually this one: “When may a thank-you note be sent via e-mail or fax?” The best answer I’ve got to this one is: Never. In my opinion, sending a thank-you note via either of these mediums is like trying to give someone a hug without touching them. The aim is to show that you went out of your way to express your thanks; typing for 30 seconds and hitting “send,” or deciding not to invest in a stamp, sends precisely the opposite message. It is far more appropriate to key or hand-write a letter or note and send it to the person via old-fashioned “snail mail.” By doing so, your “thank you” will appear to be the result of a conscious effort to articulate your appreciation, rather than a hasty attempt to cross an item off your to-do list. The only exception I can think of to this rule is when you’re saying “thank you” for a voice-mail message someone has left you, or for routine information passed along via e-mail. In such situations, sending a thank-you message via the same medium is probably acceptable.