Know the value of a good handshake

If you have ever had a strong positive or negative reaction to someone based on the firmness or weakness of the person’s handshake, then you already know how important this one small gesture can be. A limp handshake can tag you as someone who is hesitant or lacking in resolution. An overpowering shake can brand you as a manipulator. A sincere, confident grip conveys confidence and authority.
Beware! People from different parts of the country expect a variety of distances between two individuals who are greeting each other. When interacting with contacts from out-of-town, try to let the other person’s “space instincts” guide your approach to the handshake.
Here are a few tips for knowing how to offer a good handshake that also maintains a proper distance:
�� Clasp the other person’s palm with your palm, rather than fingers to fingers. Your grip should be firm. Hold someone’s hand too loosely and it’s possible you will earn the dreaded description of being “a dead fish.”

�� Do not, however, be so firm that you squeeze the other person’s hand too hard. Rather than causing pain of any sort, simply apply a little pressure and then let go. Keep in mind that a handshake is not a contest to see who can grip the hardest. You should match each other, grip for grip.

�� Talk to the person whose hand you are shaking; a simple “Nice to meet you” or “Good to see you again” will do.

�� If you know the person well and wish to convey additional warmth, then place your free hand on top of the clasped hands or on the other person’s arm or shoulder. However, do not do this if you are meeting somebody for the first time, as such a gesture can be misconstrued as an invasion of territory. If you want to convey a sense of rapport without making the other person uncomfortable, try touching his or her arm between the hand and elbow rather than between the elbow and shoulder.
�� As you release the other person’s hand, pause briefly but purposefully before continuing the conversation.

If you are going to another country, try to learn what the customs are there for shaking hands. In some nations it is considered polite to shake upon meeting and leaving; not doing so may give offense. For some, handshakes should be firm, for others they should be aggressive, and for still others, where there is a “caste” system, you should shake hands only with persons of a certain standing. Some countries frown on shaking hands with a member of the opposite sex. Finally, there are some social systems where the greeting is not a handshake but a bow of some sort. The more you learn about the specific customs governing these forms of greeting people, the easier it will be for you to get along, no matter what country you are in.